Is OptimaLife Coaching Right For You?

Here are some of the qualities I've noticed in the people who typically hire me as their coach.

- You are growth-oriented.

You like to learn, grow and improve yourself, your life, your relationships, your spiritual self and your reality. You are open to change and understand that change is necessary for growth to occur. You are open-minded and open to working with new approaches.

- You want more true happiness, which I define as an abundance of peace, joy, freedom, love, gratitude and excitement in your life.

After many years of coaching people and studying life, I have come to the conclusion that just about everybody on the planet wants more of these feelings in their life. People often chase happiness by trying to "get" something that they think will make them happy; more money, better relationships, a bigger house, etc. While that works in the short-term (you actually do feel some happiness when you attain your goal), the happiness that comes with the acquisition of things or the changing of circumstances is fleeting. It eventually goes away as the "newness" wears off.

I have found the best way to live a truly happy life is to make being happy the direct target, rather than "when I get 'X' I will be happy." So I teach and coach people on how to feel an abundance of peace, joy, freedom, love, gratitude and excitement regardless of the circumstances or what you "have" in your life at this moment. Circumstances change. Happiness can be constant when you make this shift. In fact, it's much easier to change your circumstances when you already are happy versus trying to change them in order to become happy. There is a big difference between those two approaches.

- You have issues, challenges or problems that are causing you emotional pain or discomfort and you really want to resolve the pain as soon as possible.

You may be unhappy or dissatisfied with some aspect of your life. There may be something about yourself that you want to change (attitude, ways of being, habits, etc.) You may be annoyed, frustrated or have judgement about other people in your life and you'd like to be free of those feelings. You may be feeling stress, worry, fear, anger, uncertainty, doubt, guilt, regret, resistance to change, etc. and you want to feel the opposite.

I can help you with that. It's what I do.

-You want to easily have more of what you want, and less of what you don't want.

The word "easily" is the key part of that statement. I'm generally all about ease and flow, floating with the current rather than rowing frantically upstream.

This is part of that unconscious training (or conditioning) I mentioned on my home page. We have been very conditioned to believe that we must struggle in order to achieve worthy goals. While effort is always necessary, struggle and pushing against things is not. I have worked with many people who were amazed at how resistant they were to having things just be easy. It was like something inside of them really liked having bumps in the road and drama. Once you really get that it's not necessary to struggle to be happy or successful, your world really does change quite dramatically.

- You've discovered that there is something that is preventing you from just being happy.

You may even have a strong suspicion that the something is actually inside of YOU – it's not "out there" in the world somewhere. This is a very valuable thing to realize and understand.

That something is made up of the inner conflicts that are sabotaging the energy and power of your desires. By identifying and thoroughly resolving these inner conflicts, they become disempowered and soon fade away completely which leaves you significantly more freed up to "live into" your intentions, dreams and desires and be happy all the while you are doing that.

- You have realized that you must change in order to really live the life you want to live.

People are motivated by two primary drivers: We move toward pleasure and away from pain. Of the two, the pain is the stronger motivator. So, I find that most people who decide they want to hire a coach are experiencing some significant pain somewhere in their life. And, they want the pain to stop. Soon. Like "yesterday" soon.

My style of coaching is all about using our inherent attraction toward things that are pleasurable and enjoyable to propel you into happiness and living the life you really want to live. I am NOT a Motivational coach. I am an Inspirational Coach. When you are inspired you are pulled right into the vision of reality which most excites you.

- You sense in some way that I have a coaching method and approach that is right for you. You see me as the best solution for solving your current "problems" or challenging situations.

This could happen just by reading this website, or when you schedule an "Accelerate Your Success" Free Intro Session and you get a firsthand experience of my style of coaching. What I do is very different from what most other coaches do in one very important way.

The traditional coaching model that I was originally trained in back in 1995, and that is most commonly used today, involves helping the client to overcome or move through the barriers and blocks (these are the inner conflicts that I mentioned earlier). This is usually done through a process of strategizing action, taking action and holding the client accountable to what the client said they would accomplish. The coach helps the client to push through the resistance of the blocks and barriers.

This approach can and often does work extremely well. It can also sometimes be pretty uncomfortable for the client as they are confronted head-on with what is really stopping them in life. I suspect that some people don't hire a coach because they have the idea that they're going to be asked to do things that are uncomfortable, and they just don't want to go there unless they absolutely have to. Remember "avoiding pain" is typically the most powerful motivational force in peoples' lives.

I believe that a better approach for assisting you in reaching your intended goals is to first, resolve and eliminate the blocks and barriers which are currently preventing you from achieving what you want. Then, there is very little (or nothing) for you to have to overcome -- the resistance is virtually gone. You are left with a very clear, unobstructed path to what you want and taking action becomes very easy. Also, when you have effectively eliminated the blocks first, then you generally won't feel those uncomfortable feelings as you move into the areas that you have been avoiding. This approach makes the personal development and growth process much more comfortable, enjoyable and even fun.

And, whenever those uncomfortable feelings do arise, I have a very easy technique that you can use to resolve and complete the energy of the feeling such that the feeling permanently goes away. Everyone is walking around with many unresolved emotional energies that they have unknowingly created and left incomplete. In addition, we are all heavily conditioned (unconsciously trained) to avoid these feelings, and more importantly, to avoid any situation that may cause these uncomfortable feelings to arise.

Thus, these unresolved emotional energies can act as barriers, keeping us from taking certain actions out of the fear of being emotionally overwhelmed. The great news is that once you have learned this simple technique and started using it, it becomes very easy for you to resolve these energies and be free from them. You'll be able to do that whenever it's appropriate, anytime anywhere, thereby greatly accelerating your personal development progress. This one technique can dramatically transform all areas of your life.

- You want to learn and master skills for yourself. In other words, you don't want to be dependent on a coach for the next several years.

During the time we are coaching, you'll be learning some principles, tools and techniques that will allow you to easily have an abundance of happiness as well as more of whatever you want for the rest of your life. You don't have to depend on me to make your dreams come true, you'll learn how to do that for yourself. It's like that old "teach them to fish rather than give them a fish" idea. I am very excited about helping people to learn a new way of being that makes it easy for them to live the life they love. That sounds way more interesting and exciting than handing out fish.

How long does it take to learn how to do this? My current answer to that is "plan on at least six months to a year," however, I've seen clients master this in as little as three months. I currently have clients who've been working with me for over two years, and they stay onboard because their life just keeps on getting better and better. I call that spiraling upward.

There is fair amount to share with you, depending on what you already understand about this subject, and you'll need plenty of time to practice, integrate and experientially master this skill.

If you went to college, how long did it take you to learn everything you needed to know about your area of study? At least four years right? So, six months to a year doesn't sound so bad, does it?

As the Next Step, I recommend you read what my clients say about working with me.